So this year is my final and I get to do the fun Final Major Project. This is exciting due to the fact that I get to a) do whatever the hell takes my little fancy and b) have approximately 3 months in which to do this. Yikes. This means that I can be full-on and ‘go deep’ with regards to my project – get ready for some heavy philosophical theories my friends. Well, be aware when I finally manage to decipher the work of Pierre Bourdieu….little bastard and your extravagant literature. It is nice when that sentence I’ve been labouring over for hours actually makes sense. Now, that’s exciting.
So right now (with regards to artists) I’ve been looking at these bad boys:
Trish Morrissey
Martina Mullaney
Miranda July:
Richard Billingham:
Louise Bourgeois:
So yes, basically I am going to be exploring identity with regards to my Mother. I am going to be creating a set of images and short film that will essentially create an overall self-portrait at 15; a time when photographs were not taken in my family. I still have some clarification to get to…but that’s the idea in progress.
So I finally got the chance to use my new camera for a decent subject – instead of photographic the windows and teacups as I usually would do. Anyway, here are a couple of my favourites:
I lay down in the bath, turned the shower to hot and let it fall on me. I burst into tears. Huge sobbing, shaking, ugly and messy tears. It lasted one hour and now I am utterly prune-like.
Sometimes I just wish that I could scream like Will Ferrell.
Uni is shit/amazing. Shit in that I hate the group project (that seems to take up all of my time and completely stress me out) and amazing in that I absolutely love my individual project and my Final Major Project proposal. It’s getting a bit much.
Basically, I feel as though I’m constantly forgetting all these important aspect to each project, which completely stresses me out and then I forget even more. It doesn’t really help that half of my group don’t seem to understand what the hell our concept is all about and the other half are angry that we keep being misunderstood. In the middle – it’s me. I am the intermediary. It’s an emotional tug-of-war. Please make it stop. I actually had a nightmare about this. In my dream I ended up crawling into a tiny cupboard under the stairs and shutting myself away. This dream may actually become a reality.
Anyway, tomorrow we are testing the less enlightened half of the groups input…and I am not looking forwards to it.
I think I’m having an identity crisis. And I’m only 21, which makes it all rather sad. Sometimes I think I should just man up and get over it…but then I look in the mirror. Vom.
In other news, I quite like this:
And this:
And the colours in this:
Maybe identity should be central to my Final Major Project. I seem to be having major trauma/bout of indecisiveness and can’t settle on anything. It’s pretty shit. I have to hand in my research Proposal in a month. I’m feeling positive. Ha.
I would have thought that by now, uni would be making sense. Wrong. It would seem that every time I go to uni I overwhelmed, so I come home, drink tea, makes some sense of it all and start to feel in control again – only to go back into uni and get all overwhelmed again. It’s really quite tiring. I am falling further and further down the rabbit hole.
A London College of Fashion student with a nice little part-time styling job. I like using old film camera's and planning out my imaginary magazine. Big stampy heels are good fun too.
